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Bonjour,

j’ai écrit un stand-up comedy in English. Est-ce que vous pouvez m’aider à corriger les erreurs grammaticales et me dites si c’est intéressant ou non?

merci et bonne journée

Title: prejudice of appearance

It's very difficult to be a normal-looking girl.  It's like you're doing nothing right.  If you don´t dress up, people say there are no ugly women, only lazy ones.  Before this sentence appeared, I was just a simple ugly woman.  If you do something bad, people will say your heart is ugly, so your face is ugly.  If you are very kind, people will say that we don't judge a person by their appearance .  If I say I think I'm pretty, people will say can't you afford a mirror?  If I say  I think I am ugly, people will say you should accept yourself.  

And everyone's photos on facebook are so pretty!  When can we post something that shows our individuality without involving beauty or ugliness?  For example, fingerprints. 

 Because of my inferiority complex in appearance, I gave up a lot of things.  Don't run for the student council, you won't get elected (as we all know, running is a beauty pageant).  Don't pursue him, it will definitely be fruitless.  Don't rob the bank, you will be caught on surveillance camera, I'm not photogenic.

 

But having an appearance  like mine is not without benefits. I always show weakness, act like a spoiled child, and eat ice cream from boys without permission.  But no one would call me b word .  She was just hungry.

 The last time I went to a beauty store with my mom, the clerk recommended hand cream to me.  She said do you know, the hands are really important.’' They are the second face of a woman.  I said who can save my first face.  She said that cosmetics are all 20% off today.  A beautiful woman next to me was not happy, why is she 20% off and I have nothing? the staff said:  You just need a depilatory cream, but she needs everything except that.

 The world is very real to ordinary people,  you must have a function to have the value of existence.  But beautiful girls only need to exist.  When you see an eye Candy, you won't think like: this Candy, what kind of nutrition does it contain?

 We all know that the world is different for beautiful people and ordinary people, and if you didn't know it, you know it now.  Not even death can erase the difference.  In the 1980s, two 3,800-year-old female human remains were unearthed in western China.  People named them Loulan Beauty and Mummy II.  This is actually made up by me, but you do think it is particularly reasonable, right?

 It's just that I think we ordinary people are usually too low-key.  We all think I'm like this, so stop posting selfies.  This has created a survivorship bias, which has made the internet littered with pictures of beautiful women.  We feel that beauty is normal.  To be honest, before coming to Canada, I always believed that Canada was a non-immigrant country with only blondes and blue eyes

 In order to change this, I think our normal-looking person should post photos and make the beauties feel ashamed.  I believe that as long as one day we unite and have the courage to show ourselves, one day people will stop looking at Facebook

Sarah G

Bonjour !

Wow ! Tout comme LoutrePhilosophe, j'aime bien que tu aies utilisé l'humour pour aborder un sujet d'actualité et dont l'importance s'est accrue dans les dernières années.

Voici quelques commentaires/suggestions que je t'ai laissés en éditant ton document (je croyais qu'il serait ainsi plus simple pour toi de bien repérer leurs contextes).

Ce contenu est protégé par le droit d'auteur. Toute reproduction à l'extérieur des forums Alloprof est interdite et pourra être considérée comme une violation du droit d'auteur.

Ce contenu est protégé par le droit d'auteur. Toute reproduction à l'extérieur des forums Alloprof est interdite et pourra être considérée comme une violation du droit d'auteur.

Voilà :) Bonne continuation !

Sarah G.

LoutrePhilosophe7758

Je trouve que c'est un bon texte, la critique de la société avec de l'humour.