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I need help writing an intro for an english essay and i don't know if the one I wrote is good enough. Is this good?

In the short story, Sunday in the Park by Bel Kaufman, a family goes to the park one Sunday afternoon. As the story progresses many inner and outer conflicts begin to occur. Each character goes through their very own progression during the story. There is one inner conflict and two outer conflicts. 

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  • Explication d'Alloprof

    Explication d'Alloprof

    Cette explication a été donnée par un membre de l'équipe d'Alloprof.

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    Équipe Alloprof • 1a May 2021 modifié

    Hi,

    The grabber (sujet posé in French) is supposed to be a sentence or two that puts the subject in context. You did that without naming directly the subject of conflicts which is very good!! However, the grabber is also supposed to attract your readers' attention. You could add another sentence at the beginning. It could be a general fact, a funny anecdote about family/conflicts/nature/parks that is related to the story, ...

    As for the end of your introduction, you mention what you will explain in your essay, but a bit more precision would be good. What are the conflicts about? What are their main, global topics? Let the readers know what they are getting into to keep them interested. This step, in french essays, is equivalent to the sujet divisé.

    For more information, visit the website below explaining more the introduction. The video can help a lot too (an example is even included)!

    Have a good day!