When a family breaks up, parents and children can both be left feeling overwhelmed and disoriented. During the adjustment period, children are especially vulnerable and more likely to struggle in school. Here are some tips on giving your child the support they need.
To help your child adjust and keep their grades up, be attentive and show that you care about their needs. You can do this simply by focusing on being present:
Stress interferes with a child’s ability to learn. You can help your child feel more at ease through cooperative co-parenting (amicable, with face-to-face contact) or parallel co-parenting (electronic exchanges only). It’s reassuring in a number of ways for a child to know that their parents are still in touch:
As a result, they’re able to concentrate better on their studies.
Having a homework routine is extremely important. Not only is it reassuring, but it also helps kids develop a sense of time and stay organized. After a separation, each parent should establish a homework routine that works with their new situation. It doesn’t have to be the same in both homes; simply having one in place will make things feel more normal for your child and help them do well in school.
If you’ve separated with your partner on bad terms, it may not be easy to have a conversation, much less see one another. As it’s essential to stay in the loop regarding your child’s homework, try to look for alternative ways to communicate. Here are a few examples:
If your child is in elementary school, a communication notebook can be a great solution. It’s not a tool for parents to micro-manage or spy on their child; it’s simply a message log that goes wherever your child goes. Each parent writes down daily notes to keep the other informed:
Gagnier, Nadia, Mes parents se séparent… et moi alors?, Éditions La Presse, Montréal, 2010, 120 p.
Writing : Amélie Cournoyer
Scientific review : Valérie Leclair, psychoéducatrice
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Rewriting : Alloprof Parents’ team