How open dialogue can keep your child in school ?

Article

Parents often have a sixth sense when it comes to their child’s wellbeing. Do you suspect that yours is on the verge of dropping out of school? The only way to know for sure is to have an honest conversation.

Choose the right time to talk

If your child is at risk of dropping out of school, taking immediate action is a proven way to turn things around—but choosing the right moment is key! Here are a few conditions worth waiting for:

  • No one is in a hurry
  • Everyone is calm
  • No siblings are present
  • Etc.

Ask open-ended questions

An open-ended question is one that cannot be answered with a simple yes or no.

If you have the right attitude, asking clear, open-ended questions will generally elicit honest answers. Examples: “How do you feel about school?”

Speak in the first person (“I”) and listen

Try to be attentive, understanding, and calm. Ideally, you should speak in the first person to avoid making your child feel judged or attacked. You could say something like, “I’m worried about you. I want to understand how you’re feeling.”

Highlight the positives

Have your fears been confirmed? The ball is in your court! By helping your child identify the obstacles to their success and reminding them of everything they enjoy about school, you can help them find reasons to stick with it. Here are a few examples:

  • Your child has good relationships with their teachers
  • They have lots of friends
  • They enjoy extracurricular activities
  • They receive high marks in math
  • They’ve significantly improved in French
  • Etc.

Be careful not to take over the conversation. Your child needs to come up with a few positives, too. The goal is to prevent them from completely rejecting the school system. By focusing on the more interesting aspects of school, you’ll help your child find the strength they need to overcome this difficult period.

Offer encouragement

Life isn’t always a smooth ride. We all feel discouraged at one time or another. But when the going gets tough, it’s important to persevere. Your child needs to learn how to pick themselves up and keep going. You could say,

  • “I understand that you’re going through a difficult time and feel like giving up, but you’re so close to the finish line. Think about your dreams and remember that you need a high school diploma to achieve them.”

Share personal experiences

Talk about the difficulties you encountered in school and how you overcame them. Your experiences may reassure your child and help them feel less alone. They’ll realize that others, including their own parents, have had to surmount similar obstacles to get where they are today.

Oversee homework

In elementary school especially, it’s important to establish a homework routine with your child. Your involvement will make the experience much more enjoyable and send a clear message to your child: school matters!

Of course, things change once your child starts high school: they’re more independent. But you can still remind them that you’re available if they need help and that they can count on your support.

Talk about the benefits of having a high school diploma

Instead of stressing the downsides of dropping out of school, explain the advantages of having a diploma. Pointing out the positives should help motivate your child. Below are a couple of examples:

  • Studies have shown that young people who don’t finish high school have more difficulty finding work. Getting your diploma will give you access to a wider range of jobs.
  • Can you imagine being trapped in a terrible job because you didn’t graduate from high school? You’d find your days extremely long and difficult. Spending your entire life doing something you hate is a lot worse than spending a few more years in school. It’s worth the work!

Help your child set professional goals

By helping your child set goals, you’ll give them new reasons to stay in school. Here are some things you can do to get the ball rolling:

  • Ask your child what their dream job is
  • Help them research the position that interests them
  • Help them find a post-secondary program that will allow them to reach their goal
  • Schedule a meeting with the school guidance counsellor to talk about their future
  • Etc.

Contact the school

While your efforts and involvement are key, it’s also important that you communicate regularly with your child’s school. By keeping the staff informed about the situation, they can also watch over your child and make sure they stay on track. Teaming up with the school is a winning strategy for your child’s success.

Did you know

Did you know? Not all students who drop out have bad grades. Students who do well but feel bored and uninterested may drop out because the work isn’t challenging enough. Discover more tips to help your child understand why school matters.

Collaborators

Writing : Viviane Asselin
Scientific review : Émilie St-Onge, psychoeducator
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Rewriting : The Alloprof Parents' team

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