After school: 5 keys to making your child feel heard and appreciated

It could be that your child got into a fight with their best friend. Maybe they forgot to bring home their French notebook. Or maybe they didn’t understand the last three word problems in math class. As your child opens up and confides in you about all of their woes, you can let them know they have your full attention by reacting to their statements with appropriate interjections:

• “Ouch!”
• “Phew!”
• “Yup!”
• “Hmm . . .”
• Etc.

In the flurry of our daily lives, we sometimes don’t pay full attention to what others are saying. It may not seem like a big deal, but our little ones notice! To help your child feel that you’re really listening to them, practise active listening by saying things such as the following:

• “Oh, I see! He was . . .”
• “Ah, yes! You have . . .”
• “Whew! Sounds like you had no idea . . .”
• Etc.

When you practise active listening (i.e., when you listen to your child without judging them or telling them what to do), you can also use a technique called mirroring to help your child feel understood. This approach is simple:

• Listen without interrupting
• Identify the emotion behind your child’s words
• When your child has said everything they want to say, name the feeling(s) you picked up on (e.g., “You’re angry,” “You’re sad”)
• Etc.

Feeling heard is one thing; feeling appreciated is another. To show your child how valuable they are and how much they mean to you, make sure to praise your child regularly. Not just when they bring home a good grade or do as they’re told, but also when you notice little things they do on a day-to-day basis. Here are a few ideas to get you started:

• “Wow! You’re already set up to do your homework!”
• “Oh, You wrote everything down so you wouldn’t forget anything.”
• “Great job! You remembered to bring your gym clothes!”
• Etc.

They say that smiling is good for your health. Apparently, it’s also beneficial for self-esteem! Much more than a simple movement of the lips, a smile has the power to communicate a whole lot of information:

• Tenderness
• Approval
• Openness
• Etc.

Smiling is often accompanied by laughter. Laugh at your child’s jokes and use humour to get your message across. These are great ways to contribute to your child’s well-being! By sprinkling a little laughter throughout their day, you can make your child feel truly appreciated.