How setting rules and boundaries fosters good behaviour

It’s important for kids to have some form of disciplinary guidance growing up. Firm limits provide reassurance and help them learn to behave properly, whether at home or in society. Setting boundaries requires that parents be able to say no in order to avoid promoting the following:

• Behavioural disorders
• Learning disorders
• Lack of self-confidence
• Etc.

In short, setting rules and boundaries will help your child develop key qualities:

• Self-respect, as well as respect for others and for their surroundings
• The ability to control their emotions
• A sense of responsibility
• Autonomy
• Etc.

To guide your child and help them understand how they’re expected to behave, you need to give them clear, specific instructions. Aim to do the following:

• Keep your instructions brief
• Make sure they’re logical (i.e., in line with your values)
• Write them down or draw illustrations, and make sure they’re clearly displayed
• Repeat them often
• Make sure they’re realistic (i.e., appropriate for your child’s age and needs)
• Etc.

It’s much easier for children (and adults, for that matter) to understand affirmative statements than negative ones. In other words, sentences starting with “don’t” may fall on deaf ears. Instead, try using positive phrasing:

• “I’d like you to walk when you’re inside the house,” rather than “Don’t run in the house”
• “Please speak more softly,” rather than “Don’t shout”
• Etc.

Rules that exist with no explanation generally aren’t very effective with children. Why? Because they tend to make kids feel as if their parents are making up rules just because they can. By contrast, when a child understands the reason for a particular rule, it’s easier for them to accept and follow it. Rules can be based on any number of principles:

• Safety
• Peaceful coexistence
• Respect for one’s body
• Etc.

To help your child learn to follow household rules and understand what you expect of them, be sure to apply the rules consistently:

• Keep the same set of rules
• Enforce the established consequences when rules are broken
• Avoid contradicting the other parent
• Etc.