5 tips for teaching your child to ask for help

Games are more than just a form of entertainment—they can also be educational! Many of them simulate real-life situations to help develop certain skills. To teach your child to express their needs and ask for help to accomplish a goal, try inviting them to play cooperative games. Here are some examples of cooperative games you can play:

• Escape room games
• Charades  or Taboo
• Simon Says
• Big puzzles (500+ pieces)
• Allomarket
• Team treasure hunts
• Cooperative board games
• Etc.

Fostering your child’s self-esteem is essential for developing their autonomy. A child who is shy or afraid to bother someone to ask for help may benefit from encouragement. Here are some ideas for boosting your child’s self-esteem:

• Make mistakes and failures seem less dramatic by reframing them as opportunities for growth and learning.
• Be receptive to your child’s emotions to help them develop their emotional intelligence.
• Remind your child that you love them with kind words, encouragement, and expressions of gratitude.
• Support your child through moments of stress or anxiety that may prevent them from talking about their needs. You could even make magic anti-stress bracelets together.
• Etc.

As your child gets older, they will become increasingly autonomous. For example, it is perfectly normal for children to need help staying organized and sticking to their homework routine in their first few years of elementary school. However, by age 9, they should have developed the skills to manage their homework on their own. Knowing when to step in and help and when to simply be available is very important to avoid having your child feel like you are doing their homework for them. It is particularly important to find this balance when a child refuses help, but their homework is rushed or sloppy.
 
Here are a few phrases you can use to support your child during homework time without overstepping:

• I'm so impressed by how quickly you finished your homework today! Was everything really easy or did you need help with something?
• Are you doing okay with your assignment (or lesson review) today? Do you have any questions, or are you stuck on anything?
• Remember that you can always go back over something that you were supposed to understand or that you already asked me about. There are no stupid questions!
• How do you feel when you ask questions in class or ask your teacher for help? Is it uncomfortable?
• Would you rather I let you concentrate while you do your homework? Let me know when you’re done. I’ll be right over here if you need any help.
• Does your homework look hard today? How about we tackle it together? Or you can try asking Alloprof!
• Etc.

Many classic tales such as The Three Little Pigs and La Fontaine’s fables have morals about the importance of helping each other. If you need ideas for books about the benefits of teamwork and kindness, you can consult our list of recommended books about cooperation. You can use these types of stories to start a conversation with your child about asking for help when they need it.

Asking for help is not easy, even for adults . . . especially when you tend to be a perfectionist or have a big ego! That is why it is so important to teach your child to ask for help. If your child regularly sees the adults around them asking for help or delegating tasks, they will learn to do the same.
Here are some ideas for showing your child how everyone can ask for help in their daily lives:

• Tell your child a story about how you were able to find a solution by asking for help.
• Share a story about how you learned an important lesson from a failure.
• Let go of the desire to be perfect.
• Ask for help or delegate tasks regularly.
• Congratulate each other as a family when you work together as a team.
• Etc.