Taking up the autonomy challenge

Dear son: On Tuesday morning, we all woke up early to our respective alarms so that you’d have a little extra time to get ready. You were more organized than I’d ever seen you. In fact, you were so ahead of schedule that you had time to do some reading before heading out to catch the 8:16 a.m. bus.

It seemed like you couldn’t wait to go back to school.

That’s great to see. I’m so glad you love learning.
I’m also glad you enjoy your carefully planned routine, which limits your stress both inside and outside the classroom. Especially because, in your ASD (autism spectrum disorder) class, you have all the resources you need to succeed at your fingertips.

By succeed, I don’t mean consistently getting 99 percent in math, but overcoming personal challenges to become a better person.

Challenges . . . We all face them sometimes. For so-called “different” kids like you, your challenges are just that—different!

Your challenge this year is clearly written in your action plan: AUTONOMY. It’s a big one!
What does autonomy mean?

For years, you’ve been learning how to do all kinds of things on your own.
Think of the social scenarios you’ve practised.
Think of your pictograms, the Big Ben–sized Time Timer, your appointments with the occupational and speech therapists, the advice from the psychoeducator, and of course, the many times I’ve said:

Autonomy. It’s an important word to remember.
Especially as you get older! Autonomy means being able to handle situations in everyday life by yourself.

Yes, I know you can already cook, make yourself breakfast, brush your teeth, get dressed, set the table, put the dishes away, open the door when someone rings the doorbell  (your favourite!), make requests, ask questions, learn, apply new knowledge, chide us for putting our elbows on the table, and a long list of other skills that will be extremely useful in life.

But autonomy is also many other things, like counting your money, knowing how much you have in your wallet, and setting a budget so that you don’t get shortchanged by a cashier who wants to take advantage of you.

Remember those math exercises where you had to learn the difference between dollars and cents? They weren’t much fun, but they were important. I still remember when you’d mix up pennies and loonies and end up with astronomical amounts. When you’d proudly set out with $5, only to come back to ask me for another $2 because a carton of milk, a doughnut, and a cookie cost more than you thought. You’ve come a long way since then!

What else does autonomy mean?
Listening to your teacher in class. I know that part is a little harder for you to understand. Your classroom supervisor recently sent us a lovely note about your frequent trips to the moon!

Like me, your mind tends to wander when you’re trying to concentrate. Yes, I can relate! But between spacing out in class and reciting lines by Captain Haddock or from your favourite DVD unboxing YouTube videos,

you sometimes lose track of what’s happening on Earth— for example, when the teacher asks a question in class. You raise your hand every time because you always enjoy giving the answer. But when you’ve spent too much time among the stars, you start to say whatever pops into your head.

Of course, strategies like the pictograms on your desk and your teacher’s frequent reminders are extremely helpful. You have all the right tools to keep your feet on the ground!

This year, I’m also giving you a “mini challenge”: improving your French reading comprehension. Biographies and newspaper articles don’t give you much trouble. But when the language is flowery and embellished—in other words, when it becomes more literary—you tend to get lost. We’re going to spend more time on this skill.

Of course, I have a few other mini challenges in mind. You saw that coming, didn’t you? These include improving your social skills, scaling back on hugs, learning how to do more in-depth Internet searches, and more!

We’ll work on them together, at your pace. By taking small steps forward, you’ll soon improve by leaps and bounds.

The last mini challenge I’d like you to tackle? Shaving!
Your peach fuzz moustache is starting to bug me. We’ll have to overcome your hypersensitivity and introduce you to the razor before you become one of the three musketeers!

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