I hated school when I was little
I hated school. For me, there was nothing worse! Now, my little girl is starting kindergarten. All I can think is, “Poor her!” She doesn’t want to go, and I completely understand. Last night, she started crying and asked me why I was making her go. I had no idea what to say!
I was at the park playing tic-tac-toe with my oldest son when I overheard this exchange between two young mothers sitting on a nearby bench.
Part of me wanted to jump in on their conversation, but I knew that it was none of my business.
I wanted so much to remind the mom that she has a profound impact on her daughter’s life, and that her offhand remarks—whether positive or negative—could affect the way her child looks at the world.
Weighed down by bad memories
Presumably, this was someone who’d had a terrible time in school and was afraid that her daughter would, too.She wanted to protect her. She probably wished that she could shield her daughter from this potentially harmful experience, and maybe even felt guilty for sending her right into the lion’s den.
She had a negative view of the school system and, without even realizing it, was passing on this perception to her daughter, who had yet to even set foot in a classroom!
Can you imagine being forced to go to kindergarten five days a week, all the while knowing that your own mom hates school? For a six-year-old, that’s terrible!
Putting myself in her shoes
I tried to imagine what I would do in this mother’s situation.
If I’d had traumatic experiences in school that had left painful memories (for whatever reason); if my parents had never encouraged me throughout my education; if I associated school with boredom, struggle, anxiety, and failure—how could I ever motivate my own child and paint school in a positive light?
I realized that this young mom had a difficult road ahead.
Even if a child has the best teacher in the world, one who says and does everything in their power to encourage their students to learn, discover, and thrive in the classroom, their parents’ opinions will always take precedence.
For example, a child who can’t wait to talk about their fantastic day at school can quickly feel deflated by a parent’s negative comments: “Enjoy it while you can! Great days at school don’t happen very often.”
Building on happy moments
I hope that, after her first day of kindergarten, the woman’s daughter will feel like she’s where she’s meant to be. I hope that she’ll feel supported and cared for by the school staff and experience a multitude of successes and moments of happiness that give her a positive perception of the educational environment.
More than anything, I hope that her mother comes to realize that her daughter’s path can be different from her own.
If she does, anything is possible!