This motto means so much to me that I ought to get it engraved on a plaque, polish it up, and hang it over the front door.
Recognizing effort means that you respect your child and the pace at which they learn.
It’s about encouraging them to work hard in school.
It’s about helping them feel good about themselves and avoid the kind of unhealthy pressure that could taint their desire to learn or hurt their selfconfidence.
Because sometimes, self-confidence can be so fragile.
Is asking them to do their best enough?
For many, probably not. In fact, some parents already have a clear career path in mind for their child. There’s a good chance it ends with a master’s or PhD in finance, law, or some other high-paying field.
For these families, results probably take precedence over effort. School grades become of utmost importance. Because of the admissions requirements for private colleges, because of the importance of GPAs, because of elite programs with limited space, etc.
I don’t blame these parents.
Everyone wants the best for their children. In fact, I used to have that same mindset—until I was “forced” to think differently.
I have a child who is different and faced with challenges of all kinds.
Challenges that aren’t necessarily conducive to excellence, which happens to be the ultimate goal when your focus is results.
At the beginning of high school, Laurent’s difficulties meant that I had to be flexible and could not expect “excellence.”
What exactly is excellence, anyway?
Excellence is being eager to learn.
Excellence is learning at your own pace.
Excellence is being curious.
Excellence is making progress without being pressured.
If your child gets good grades, great. Really.
But if they don’t, despite making every effort to understand and do well, then tell them you believe in them. And be proud of them. There’s nothing more to it.