Does your child refuse to do their homework?
Sometimes, your child just doesn’t want to do their homework. You try every trick in the book:
Sweet talk – “It’ll be a chance for us to spend time together.”
Encouragement – “Do a little bit of homework every night so you feel less discouraged.”
Support – “Don’t worry, I’ll help you.”
Reward system – “You’ll get a present if . . .”
Positive reinforcement – “You’re so talented, I believe in you! I know you can do it.”
Out of desperation, you slowly switch gears and adopt less helpful approaches:
Threats – “If you don’t do your homework, I’ll take away your tablet, limit your screen time . . .”
Blackmail – “I’m going to speak with your teacher, Ms. Smith, about this!”
Fear – “If you fail your year, you won’t have many career opportunities.”
Guilt – “I can’t take this anymore! You’re driving me crazy!”
Tag team – “I’m not getting involved. Talk to your father.”
Comparisons – “In my day . . .” or “Your friend Coralie does her homework . . .”
No luck. At your wits’ end, you’re willing to try anything:
Fraud – “I’ll do your homework for you, but only this once.”
- What you hope your child will say: “I need to do it myself! My teacher will notice if I don’t.”
- What they actually say: “Okay, make sure to get my handwriting right. I’ll grab a snack while waiting.”
Trickery –“Okay, don’t do your homework. Tomorrow, just tell your teacher that you forgot your books at school.”
- What you hope your child will say: “I can’t do that! I’ll get in trouble.”
- What they actually say: “Great idea!”
Provocation – “I guess I have to pull you out of school. Obviously, it’s not for you.”
- What you hope your child will say: “No, don’t! I’ll do my homework. I want to go to school!”
- What they actually say: “Really? I get to stay home? Coooool!”
The situation feels hopeless.
Finally, you shut yourself in the bathroom with your meditation app and do a few breathing exercises. (You’ve heard they help reduce anxiety and the risk of depression.)
Once you feel calmer, you come up with a reasonable and realistic approach.
I know you’re struggling. This is a difficult time for you, me, and your father. Since we can’t motivate you to do your homework, we’re going to try to help you find your own source of motivation. School and homework are necessary steps to becoming an intelligent, well-rounded adult with different skills and talents. You have potential, and it would be a shame to let it go to waste. It’s okay if you don’t do your homework tonight. Next week, I’m going to write a letter to your teacher asking her for homework tips.
You give your child a big hug, and then go empty the dishwasher.
A few minutes later, you hear them unzip their backpack and sharpen their pencil.
Mom! Is the word who a pronoun?