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Hello there! :)

Thank you for reaching out! I imagine your situation is not easy : I, too, struggled with performance anxiety in high school and even college. You should be proud to reach out for help; it is the first step towards healing! :)

Try not to be too hard on yourself; you might procrastinate due to your fear of failure and not out of laziness. Our job here is to try to be less anxious in order to enjoy learning and stop freezing during exam sessions. We will help you! :)

Firstly, (and I know this is hard!), try to see exams as a way for the teacher to make sure you understood everything. Because of the grade-related pressure, we tend to see exams as an occasion to perform, whereas it is in fact made to evaluate your knowledge (not evaluate you).

• To do so, you can try to write down everything you know about a subject. You'll be surprised to realize how much you actually know so far! This will help you gain a bit of confidence.
• You can also try to explain the subject to your family or your friends. Think of it as studying, but without the typical structured studying environment (without your books and notes!).
• Once you do that, you'll probably feel a little more motivated to dive in your books.

The trick here is to make studying fun, to try to forget the pressure you might feel, You can plan rewards after a certain time of studying for example, or try different creative way to study. You will find a lot of study tips right here, with study guides for every subject/grade. This will help you find exactly what to study.

Secondly, you can try to talk to your parents, your school counselors, your teachers or your friends about your anxiety. They may have some insights to share with you. You might even realize that you're far from alone! If your parents pressure you to get good grades, having a good discussion with them and explaining how it affects you negatively goes a long way. Remember that your parents' love for you is not conditionnal to your grades; neither is your worth! A healthy competition is good in school, because it can help you set goals and reach them, but it should not be paralyzing you nor making you feel ill. :)

Last but not least, you can try to manage your anxiety with several techniques; meditation or yoga can help you slow your breathing and relax, but sports of any kind can also be very beneficial! You can also try to write down any anxiety-inducing thoughts you have and reading them after (this is called cognitive defusion!) or even painting, cooking, dancing, singing - whatever makes you feel happy and at ease!

Here is an article that will help you manage your stress:

https://www.alloprof.qc.ca/en/students/vl/exams-and-tips/learning-how-manage-stress-t1100

Here is another article from our Parent Zone. You might want to read it with your parents; it might help you all to deal with your performance anxiety as a family: https://www.alloprof.qc.ca/en/parents/articles/difficulties-at-school/what-is-performance-anxiety-k1295

Let us know if we can do anything else to help! :) You can do this! :D

Sarah G