Strategies to Help an Impulsive Child Function Better at School

Impulsivity can be described as a tendency to act before thinking things through. Impulsive children tend to engage in behaviours without thinking about the consequences or risks involved. In the classroom, this might mean that they don’t raise their hand before speaking or that they interrupt the teacher in the middle of lessons. They may also have difficulty with the following:

• Listening when it’s someone else’s turn to speak 
• Respecting rules and deadlines
• Sitting still
• Taking the time to complete their schoolwork properly
• Being patient
• Showing tolerance for others (e.g., they may push other students or cut in line)
• Behaving appropriately (e.g., they may hit, bite, or spit at others)
• Etc.

Learning self-control (the ability to control one’s emotions and actions) is one of the keys to managing impulsivity. Encouraging your child to try different calming strategies is particularly helpful. Here are some common techniques:

• Counting to five before speaking
• Counting backwards from 10 before reacting
• Writing down questions they have and waiting for the right time to ask them
• Naming all the furniture in the room when they get angry
• Taking a step back to look at the big picture
• Finding a quiet spot to calm down
• Tensing and then relaxing all their muscles before they react to a problem
• Etc.

To help children recognize the signs of impulsivity, ask them to describe what happens in their head and body when they do something impulsive. This will make it easier to find effective calming strategies. Here are some examples of questions you can ask:

• What signals did your body send you (e.g., clenched hands, racing heart, flushed face)?
• Can you name two emotions you felt (e.g., anger, jealousy, a sense of unfairness)?
• Were you afraid of something (e.g., not being heard, having your toy taken away, forgetting your question)?
• Etc.

It’s not uncommon for impulsivity to be linked to immaturity in children, which makes resolving conflicts rather challenging. As a result, the child may act out by hitting, biting, or shoving when conflicts arise. You can help your child learn better ways to resolve disagreements by suggesting the following:

• Taking a few deep breaths
• Taking the time to listen to the other person’s point of view
• Calmly explaining their opinion
• Trying to come up with a solution
• Going to an adult if they can’t solve the problem
• Etc.

Impulsivity rarely leads to positive consequences. To help your child understand that there’s nothing to be gained from impulsive behaviour, encourage them to think about how their impulsivity might negatively affect their learning. Here are some examples:

• Their schoolwork won’t reflect what they’re truly capable of doing
• Their relationships with friends and teachers may suffer
• They won’t always hear the teacher’s instructions
• They’ll have to start their work over again
• Etc.

Children who struggle with impulsivity need to understand that impulsive behaviour is unacceptable, whether at home or at school. They also need to know that parents and teachers have the same expectations of them. To ensure that this is actually the case, here are a few suggestions:

• Inform the school team of any situations that could increase your child’s impulsivity (fatigue, disagreements, etc.)
• Avoid criticizing the teacher’s methods
• Encourage your child’s efforts to exercise self-control and acknowledge their progress when the teacher sends home a positive comment
• Etc.