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Escape the Comparison Trap with Help from Alloprof
Concept sheet | Study tips
Your best friend just got a new video game console—the one you’ve wanted since forever. Your social media is full of images of your favourite celebrity’s 12-bedroom home. You didn’t do as well on your latest math test as the rest of your friend group. In a world where flashy achievements and picture-perfect lifestyles can dominate your screens, it’s easy to fall into the comparison trap, especially when you’re still figuring out who you are and who you want to be. So, take a step back, breathe, and let Alloprof give you some empowering strategies that will help you forge your own path with confidence and a sense of self-worth.
Secondary
1-5
Table of Contents:
Why Do We Compare Ourselves to Others?
It’s natural to compare yourself to those around you. Even the adults in your life do it. In fact, research shows that comparing yourself to others is helpful for understanding your own identity, strengths, and areas for improvement. Also, most comparisons happen so quickly that you hardly notice you’re making them. However, comparisons can become harmful when you start to dwell on things—for example, an item you want, the grades that your BFF gets, or the way you look and dress. Constant comparison can lead to negative thoughts, stress, unhappiness, and low self-esteem. It may even spark jealousy and frustration, potentially causing you to concentrate on the negative traits in others just to make yourself feel better. Getting caught up in this comparison trap is a losing battle.
What You Can Do
You may not be able to avoid the comparison trap all the time, but here is a concrete and empowering step-by-step guide to help you gain confidence and a sense of self-worth.
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Avoid triggers. Take the time to think about the situations, people, and things that make you feel unsatisfied, sad, or frustrated. For example, is there a certain person who often manages to put you down? It’s important to recognize these types of triggers and do what you can to avoid them.
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Practise gratitude. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. What are you grateful for? Your home? Friends? Family? List the things that make you truly happy and content. This may just help you appreciate how rich your life already is.
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List your positive traits and talents. Take the time to think about who you are and what you’re capable of. Are you a fast swimmer? A gifted artist? Are you holding down a part-time job and still doing well in school? Write down your talents and achievements. If you’re having trouble, ask a family member or friend to help you. Refer to your list whenever you have doubts about yourself and your capabilities.
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Turn your doubts into personal challenges. If you wish you could do as well as your friend in science class or score as many goals as your teammate in soccer, use that desire as motivation. Establish a goal, make a plan, and stick to it.
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Limit your screen time. As a platform for sharing amazing stories, fantastic adventures, and exciting new ideas, social media can be an inspiring place. On the other hand, it can also be your worst enemy. When you’re bombarded with photos of what seems like the perfect life, it’s easy to start to question your own. Constantly measuring yourself against others can be a one-way ticket to unhappiness and uncertainty. So, if social media is bringing you down, it may be time for a detox. Try limiting your screen time or changing what you look at.
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Examine your friend group. It’s important to surround yourself with people who make you feel good. Here are two questions to keep in mind when thinking about your friends:
- Are they good friends? In other words, can you trust them, rely on them, and count on them to be there to lift you up in moments of self-doubt?
- How do you feel around them? Do you find yourself trying to act and dress like them? Do you feel like you can be yourself? Do you worry they might drop you as a friend if you do or say something wrong?
There are two main types of popularity: status and likeability.
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Status refers to when someone has a large influence on those around them. A person with status stands out, and their friends hang on every word they say. They often place a lot of importance on controlling others and may even use social aggression, like bullying or rejection, to lift their status. Even though everybody knows who they are, not everybody likes them.
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Likeability is different. When someone is likeable, they are viewed as kind, considerate, and friendly—someone who makes other people feel accepted and welcome. Although not necessarily known by all, they are generally friendly with and appreciated by everyone. They have good relationships with their friends and peers.
Remember, comparing yourself to others can be harmful to your self-esteem and happiness. Focus on your own journey, celebrate your unique qualities, and set realistic goals for yourself. Embrace your individuality!
If you’re going through a difficult situation related to your self-confidence, don’t hesitate to ask for help. You can reach out to Tel-jeunes (services in English and French) at any time. Their counselors are there to listen, advise, and offer support.