How can I help my child be more flexible in school?

A child who’s flexible is able to adjust their behaviour based on changes in their environment. They try different strategies until they’re happy with the result. In other words, they’re able to do the following:

• Understand and adapt to the new situation 
• Deal with the unexpected
• Switch up their approach if the current one isn’t working
• Form new opinions in light of new information
• Accept change
• Etc.

Change, whether it’s positive or negative, always sets off certain emotions. Fear, sadness, excitement, anger—whatever we’re feeling affects how we react. Children who have difficulty controlling their reactions often struggle to adapt to new situations. If this is true for your child, you can help by encouraging them to do the following:

• Name their emotions
• Recognize what triggers their reactions
• Find healthy coping strategies (e.g., keeping a journal, meditating)
• Etc.

When faced with change or the unexpected, our first instinct is often to dig in our heels. Likewise, instead of embracing change, children sometimes have a tendency to fight it. The good news is that you can help your child adopt a positive attitude so that it’s easier for them to adapt. Encourage them to use the following strategies when they find themselves in a new situation:

• Treat the unexpected as an opportunity to start fresh
• List the benefits of the new situation
• Name one thing they like about the new situation
• Etc.

Emotional intelligence can be defined as the ability to understand and recognize your emotions and those of others. It generally enhances these four qualities:

• Self-awareness
• Social consciousness
• Self-control
• The ability to develop relationships

This form of intelligence is one of the many ingredients for academic success. For instance, an emotionally intelligent child is better equipped to resolve conflicts and adapt their behaviour to different situations. To strengthen your child’s emotional intelligence, you can suggest they do the following:

• Keep a diary
• Put their emotions into words
• Decode other people’s emotions
• Figure out what triggers their negative emotions (e.g., changing their routine, meeting new people)
• List their strengths
• Learn to see the big picture and avoid fixating on problems
• Distinguish between what they can and can’t control
• Etc.

When your child is confronted with a new situation, they have no choice but to find strategies to cope. Broadly speaking, this means taking action in order to adapt. To help, you can offer them this advice:

• Find ways to manage your stress
• Learn breathing exercises
• Establish a new routine
• Identify and change negative behaviours
• Quickly face the reality of the situation—don’t get stuck in denial
• Don’t be afraid to ask an adult for help
• Etc.