How to Help Your Child Develop Positive Leadership Skills

Positive leadership is characterized by the ability to listen as well as act, and by empathy, collaboration, and adaptability. Soft skills—such as the ability to work autonomously, show empathy, be creative, work in a team, and communicate clearly—are what distinguish positive leadership from authoritarian leadership (where one person at the top of a hierarchy makes all the decisions).

School, extracurricular activities, sports, and sibling relationships are just a few of the many contexts in which your child can demonstrate good leadership. Here are some of the other traits that define a positive leader:

• They are humble and capable of rethinking their beliefs

• They encourage team members to pursue their interests and develop their skills

• They are able to see the bigger picture and set realistic goals based on their team members’ individual strengths

• They inspire trust

• They have a positive attitude and are looked up to

• They prioritize achieving team objectives over reaching personal goals

• They promote teamwork rather than competition

• They favour consensus but are not afraid to be the deciding voice

• They understand the importance of building emotional intelligence

• Etc.

A key benefit to developing leadership skills is learning to recognize one’s own strengths as well as those of others. Young people need to have this ability if they are to grow up to be good citizens. Additional benefits of cultivating leadership skills include:

• Increased self-confidence: Children learn to believe in their ideas and trust themselves when they start taking more initiative.

• Improved social skills: This comes from interacting and building positive relationships with peers.

• Improved communication: By practising leadership, kids learn to articulate their thoughts and be active listeners.

• Team-building: They come to see the importance of collaboration and the value of each person’s role within a team.

• Conflict management skills: They learn to negotiate and find win-win solutions in difficult situations.

• Empowerment: They learn to hold themselves accountable and understand the effects of their actions.

• The ability to make informed decisions: They learn to evaluate options and make well-thought-out decisions.

• The ability to take initiative and be proactive: They learn to act independently to effect positive change.

• A sense of service: They learn to promote cooperation and contribute to the community.

• Greater empathy: They learn to put themselves in other people’s shoes and respond to their needs with sensitivity.

• Greater adaptability: They learn to adjust to new situations and overcome adversity by being flexible.

• Improved academic performance: Often, the skills acquired through practising leadership can help kids do better in school and have more meaningful relationships with their teachers.

• Preparedness for the future: Leadership skills are transferable and a lifelong asset, both professionally and personally.

• Etc.

Positive leadership skills are essential to children’s well-being and their ability to acquire 21st-century skills (i.e., the skills identified by a number of world leaders as being necessary to succeed in the modern age). These skills revolve around concepts such as collaboration, personal responsibility, and entrepreneurship. In other words, there is much to gain from developing leadership skills from an early age, as they are extremely valuable in both one’s professional and personal life. There are many ways to help your child improve their leadership skills:

• Preach good communication: Teach your child to communicate clearly and assertively, without putting others down. Unconsciously, parents can sometimes talk over their child to finish their sentences or make decisions for them. But if you are an attentive listener when your child has something to say, you can teach them to be a good listener, too.

• Teach them to lead by example: Explain that they can intervene in certain situations and that actions sometimes speak louder than words. If they witness bullying, for example, they can demonstrate positive leadership by refusing to be complicit.

• Show them good role models: Expose your child to historical and fictional characters who demonstrate good leadership through movies, books, games, etc.

• Emphasize the importance of teamwork: There are many opportunities for your child to practise leadership both at school and in the community. Encourage them to take the initiative to organize a book club, neighbourhood sports activities, community projects, etc.

• Help them learn to strategize: Show your child how to create an effective strategy and set goals when faced with a difficult task.

• Teach them to be optimistic: Encourage your child to look for silver linings and to view failures as opportunities for improvement.

• Etc.

We often think of leaders as people who like to be in charge, who ooze charisma, or who enjoy being the centre of attention. In reality, you do not have to be the most assertive, popular, or outgoing person in the room to develop positive leadership skills. There are actually different styles of leadership, including collaborative leadership (which focuses on creating harmony within the team) and participative leadership (where everyone’s opinions are welcome and working together is encouraged). These leadership styles are well suited to introverts because they emphasize listening and sharing responsibility. Since all team members are encouraged to participate and share their ideas, the leader can play a more discreet role.

The most important thing is for your child to hone their emotional and social intelligence so they can adapt their leadership style to their environment. If your child is an introvert or feels too shy to assert themself as a leader, remind them of their strengths. Generally speaking, introverts have several qualities that can provide an advantage in a leadership position:

• They are good listeners: Introverts tend to be more sensitive to other people’s needs.

• They know how to take a step back: Like good leaders, people who are shy are able to rethink their ideas and decisions if necessary.

• They are self-reflective: Being a leader sometimes means carefully weighing one’s words and actions. By taking the time to put their thoughts on paper, meditate, or nurture their creativity, good leaders can learn to help others more effectively.

• They get to the heart of things: Introverts are often deep thinkers, which is helpful for making informed decisions.

• They demonstrate composure: The ability to remain calm is especially valuable in times of crisis.